Sometimes, when bad things happen to us, they make us stronger; they teach us how to stand taller and longer. They also make us think of the past, remind us of special moments and people. We just scream inside “I don’t want to die yet, I don’t want to leave those special people in my life”.
What really happened that day changed some things and planted others in me. I know our country’s situation is bad, but I got slightly used to the bombing sounds around. Never thinking someday I’d become a part of such a thing.
On a normal day, heading to my boyfriend’s college to get some papers done for him. I met some of his colleagues who offered to help.
I was texting him at each stage of the process. He was nagging and giving me instructions all the time. I’d pretend to be upset and he would immediately make it up to me and make me smile. It was like two lovebirds flirting around with each other. We were so happy and so affectionate.
I was waiting in the college hall for an employee to sign some papers, when suddenly; a big bombing sound made my heart shudder and spread through my insides. It was so strong, I went deaf for a moment. People inside were shocked and overwhelmed by fear, astonishment and the loud sound that silenced their talk. I stopped thinking for a moment. I didn’t panic, I just stood there watching people outside screaming and running around and pointing at the architectural college and I just realized that it was all real.
Panicking people outside started to enter the building I was standing in as the bombing sounds continued insanely. You could easily recognize their pale faces gazing sadly and could only sympathize with it. My boyfriend took on this stance.
I was telling him about what was happening, and he freaked out more than I did. It may sound crazy, but I always wanted to go through such an experience, to be a part of the incident. He started to give me hints with such a fear and compassion “stay away from glass frontage, and stand beside a pillar and don’t be afraid, I’m right here with you, just keep talking to me!”. Actually, I wasn’t afraid at all. In a minute, he was trying to calm me down and in another; I was trying to cool his fear’s intensity.
The bombing sounds continued, some close and some far, and a couple of supervisors gathered the students in the hall and started to guide us “Stick together and no one should leave the building until it’s safe out there”. Then some rumors started to spread “They’re saying that a mortar landed on the architectural college and there are so many injuries”, “that’s just too sad” I was thinking.
Two hours passed spent gazing at people’s reactions, some were crying, some smiling and some were easing some others’ fear. The atmosphere was cooling down as the falling mortars ceased. The rumors had become facts, the first mortar fell on the café of the architectural college leaving twelve martyred students and many injured ones behind, the others fell far away. After that, they told us we could leave soon.
Looking at the bright side, this incident had a very shiny one. There was no cheering for or against any party. People were there simply for each other forgetting everything but their humaneness. If we had just focused on that side from the start, maybe the situation wouldn’t have become this bad today. What more could we want than to stop the violence and to be left to live our own lives peacefully, hard enough as that may be.
The terror has ended, but the memories won’t fade. I survived to tell this tale, no one but my boyfriend knows it yet. He was there every second of it, living it with me. I got home, and I just needed to rest my body and eyes a bit, but my head was full of fighting ideas.
Those martyr students were meant to be architects, but their dream was taken from them as it has been taken away from many other people here in Syria. We definitely deserve a better life. I’m now more determined than ever to accomplish my dream of bringing peace to this world, starting with my own country. It may sound crazy for one man to do it, but I believe in human power. If we just put all our hands together, we can make the impossible possible.
Nawar Jairoun.
jairoun.nawar@gmail.com
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